Moncton Music

Sometimes I think I will run out of things to dislike about Moncton. But no. It hasn't been difficult to to find examples. So, let's get started! OK. First of all, you must know, I grew up here after the age of 9 (against my will). I have to tell you, living on an Indian Reserve in Tssawassen BC, in a mangled school bus with the side blown out and an attached hippie shack suckling it's side, was waaaay better than growing up in New Brunswick's ass. Yes, there were the obvious pitfalls in the deep woods of Alberty County: hunters, tar paper shacks, drunks, ATV's, bear traps, lack of teeth, non-running cars, people who said (and say) "that was soooome good"  and things adverse to a better life like plumbing and basic food groups, but for me, the thing that made me ill was the music. It was the 80's afterall, and when you combine growing up in Albert County with 80's music, well it almost makes you hurl. The thing is, it is now 2012, and IT IS THE SAME! The music stations play the same music I listened to in high school, it is played it in the bars, clubs and pubs, and if you go on a date with some local boy, chances are you will have to listen to it while you eat your seafood platter from Sassy's. If you want variation, well, there is country ... and French country (or rather Acadian country ... oops. Sorry). When I drove around with Frenchie II, there were times when we had a break in the 80's music (the bad stuff) and listened to some Acadian Fiddles. Oh, how I love Acadian Fiddling!

Saint Antoine Fiddle Jam, June 6, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=k3eUWW7EZaE

Some Interesting Facts About NB!

I have not verified any of this, but I am sure that at least a few of the facts are true and legitimate. Then again, this is New Brunswick - with its super high concentration of liars and exaggerators  (again, not verified - just my own anecdotal evidence).

I actually found the article on a NB home builders site:

Looking for some interesting facts about New Brunswick, Canada? Did you know that sardine cans and snow blowers were invented in New Brunswick? From a place where cars roll uphill and rivers flow backwards, here are some New Brunswick facts worth knowing.

New Brunswick Fact #1: New Brunswick is home to the warmest saltwater beaches north of Virginia. Check out Top 7 Beaches to Visit in New Brunswick to discover some of New Brunswick’s best beaches. 

New Brunswick Fact #2: New Brunswick has the world’s largest lobster. The sculpture – sorry folks, this sucker never cruised the waters! – is 11 meters long (35 feet), 5 meters tall (16 feet) and weighs in at an astonishing 90 tonnes or about 198,416 pounds! You’ll find the lobster in Shediac, NB, aptly dubbed “The Lobster Capital of The World.”

New Brunswick Fact #3: McCain Foods Limited , the multi-billion dollar company famous for its frozen French fries, is Canadian born. The McCain brothers’ first French fry plant was created in 1957 in their hometown of Florenceville, New Brunswick.

New Brunswick Fact #4: The largest whirlpool in the Western Hemisphere, and the second largest in the world (the Maelstrom Whirlpool of Norway holds the title of the world’s largest whirlpool) can be found between Deer Island and Indian Island, New Brunswick and can be viewed from Eastport, Maine. The whirlpool is called “Old Sow” because of the sounds it produces.  According to BayofFundy.com, “Old Sow is reported to be most active about 3 hours before high tide. This activity continues for about two hours and takes the form of a collection of small gyres, troughs, spouts and holes and on the rare occasion will form one large funnel. This area, which has been reported to be as wide as 76 meters (250 feet) in diameter, can best be described as turbulent water. However, during spring tides (high water tide caused by a full or new moon) combined with high winds or a tidal surge will increase Old Sow’s activity causing more intense funnels and formations.”

New Brunswick Fact #5: The first Miss Canada, Winnifred Blair, was from Saint John, New Brunswick. She was crowned on February.10, 1923.

New Brunswick Fact #6: Where are the highest tides in the world? The Bay of Fundy, of course! Tourism New Brunswick say, “They rise at a rate of one metre (3.3 feet) per hour. The tides yield many edible treasures, among them mineral-rich sea salt and “dulse” – dried seaweed, which can be eaten as a snack or used to flavor soups and stews.”

Footnote: The writer in me can’t help but wonder why the Canadian tourism website spells the word flavour the American way. Humph.

New Brunswick Fact #7: Due to the Bay of Fundy’s incredible tides, the Saint John River flows backwards twice a day, every day. According to GreatCanadianRivers.com, “Then, a startling phenomenon occurs. The water level in the Bay of Fundy continues to rise above the level of the river. The force of the incoming tide overpowers the current of the outgoing river, and the water of the Saint John begins to flow upstream – completely in reverse. New rapids form in the river, flowing in the other direction, and the effect of the tide is felt as far upriver as the city of Fredericton, almost 120 kilometres northwest of Saint John.”

New Brunswick Fact #8: The longest covered bridge in the world can be found in Hartland, New Brunswick. The covered bridge is 390 meters (1282 feet) long.

New Brunswick Fact #9: The oldest Canadian museum is found in Saint John, New Brunswick. “Although many people are aware that Saint John, New Brunswick, is Canada’s oldest incorporated city, few are aware that it houses Canada’s oldest continuing museum. The New Brunswick Museum was officially incorporated as the “Provincial Museum” in 1929 and received its current name in 1930. Its history, however, can be traced back another 87 years to 1842, when Gesner’s Museum of Natural History opened to the public in Saint John.” says the New Brunswick Museum website.

New Brunswick Fact #10: Moncton, New Brunswick is home to Magnetic Hill. Objects seemingly roll uphill on Magnetic Hill. Put your car in neutral and, like magic, your car will roll uphill all on its own! Check it out here.

Inventions from New Brunswick: Some great inventions that have come from New Brunswick include (Source: Tourism New Brunswick):

• Scuba tank, James Elliot and Alexander McAvity, Saint John, 1839.

• Compound steam engine, Benjamin F. Tibbets, Fredericton, 1845.

• Snow blower, Robert Carr Harris, Dalhousie, 1870.

• Sardine cans, Henry T. Austin, Black’s Harbour, 1932.

• Clothes washer with roller wringer, John E. Turnbull, Saint John, 1843.

• Combined hot and cold water faucets, Thomas Campbell, Saint John, 1880.

• Crossword game, Edward R. MacDonald, Shediac, 1926.

• Dump-box for trucks, Robert T. Mawhinney, Saint John, 1920.

• Ganong Brothers Ltd., St. Stephen, are the first in Canada to produce lollipops (1895), to use cellophane packaging (1920), to make peppermint rolls (1926), and to sell Valentine candy in heart-shaped boxes (1932).

Things I Hate About Moncton

1 - OK. Since when does everyone in Moncton have a cart from the grocery store. I mean, where do they even come from? Are they ALL stolen? Are they donated? What?! Every morning (and I mean every single morning) at 6:30, the freaks start pushing their grocery carts up and down our effed up, uneven, dirty, gravel-ridden side-walks. I cannot tell you the noise that this makes. Some of the cart pushers are legit bag ladies and bums. But, most live in $800 a month housing, many of which I have personally witnessed. Unfortunately for me, the carts are usually located, and tend to live and be driven around, in the downtown area - this is, afterall, a prime location for excess bottles of both the alcholic and non-alcoholic variety. One chick I have seen every day for a year clearly does this as a career path, she is always decked out in Gortex jackets and $100 sneakers complete with a backpack full of snacks for her breaks. Others are just idiots pushing around random pieces of junk paper and cans looking like they haven't had a hair cut or bath since 1972.

2 - Speaking of 1972, this is where the evolution in quitting smoking left off in Moncton. EVERYONE smokes and I mean EVERYONE! The grandma, the 10-year old kid on the corner, your baby-sitter, ALL the city's call center workers, most of the parents, the entire high school and every single old retiree over 65 seems to smoke (this is not counting the French poplulation which I dare say is approaching 95% in lighting up). You cannot go anywhere in this city with being a cloud of smoke. Folks here (unlike the USA where I was for 14 years) still actually smoke in their houses and cars (with windows up and their kids inside, I might add). AND they feel good about it, like its a God given right to blow smoke in your newborn babies face while you have your Tim Horton's coffee on your $500 a month crack apartment at 6AM.

3 - The H.O.G's and the Harley Davidson drivers. OK. There are no words to explain my level of hatred for these idios. First of all, nobody works. So what does that mean? Well, that means, you are free to just turn on and REV your loud ass bike any time of the day or night, just to see if it sounds right. Oh, and then just maybe you wanna take it around the block, around my house, just to test drive it for the 100th time, just in case it doesn't sound right. Maybe the Harley baby needs a tune up, maybe the fucking muffler isn't loud enough. No worries, we'll take it into the shop tomorrow after we drive up and down Main Street 500 effing times to see if it sounds right! The H.O.G convention took place in Moncton this year. My last summer AND my last year in Moncton, and they just HAD to hold the convention here! As luck would have it, I got stuck on the street between The Bay and my house, while 200 Harley owners weeved their way to the parking lot to station for the night. They all waved at me. Can you say IRONIC :)

4 - The dirty, super skinny, non-working, little dirt bag freaky guys in hoodys that skateboard up and down the city incessently. Like I said above, nobody works here. I don't know if there are just not enough jobs being the  Maritimes, whether welfare is just too easy to get, or whether abortion should have caught on a bit more in the 1990's; but all these guys do is skateboard (and many times bike [on stolen bikes]) up and down Moncton's streets looking creepy and sketchy doing God knows what. Most likely they are small time drug peddlers and criminals, but they are annoying nonetheless. Like cockroaches, you don't see them until the last second when they almost cause you to almost trip over your own feet in surprise. You have to watch the cross walks, the parking lots, the street constantly, for if not, you could smash directly into one.

5 - The drivers. Wow. What can I say about this. I truly and honestly believe that if you held a world wide contest on the most retarded and dangerous drivers in the world, they would be Monctonians. Really. People often say "there are no words" to describe something. Well, what I am saying is that there literally are no words to describe the lunicy of the drivers here. Pretty much all you need to know is that almost every single night someone dies at an intersection (drunk or not). Need some visuals? Just watch this video below.

(Oh, and let me add, this is MY street. At 7AM. I woke up to what sounded like a car bomb going off in Afghanistan):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV_41RBQGQU

ENJOY!