1 - OK. Since when does everyone in Moncton have a cart from the grocery store. I mean, where do they even come from? Are they ALL stolen? Are they donated? What?! Every morning (and I mean every single morning) at 6:30, the freaks start pushing their grocery carts up and down our effed up, uneven, dirty, gravel-ridden side-walks. I cannot tell you the noise that this makes. Some of the cart pushers are legit bag ladies and bums. But, most live in $800 a month housing, many of which I have personally witnessed. Unfortunately for me, the carts are usually located, and tend to live and be driven around, in the downtown area - this is, afterall, a prime location for excess bottles of both the alcholic and non-alcoholic variety. One chick I have seen every day for a year clearly does this as a career path, she is always decked out in Gortex jackets and $100 sneakers complete with a backpack full of snacks for her breaks. Others are just idiots pushing around random pieces of junk paper and cans looking like they haven't had a hair cut or bath since 1972.
2 - Speaking of 1972, this is where the evolution in quitting smoking left off in Moncton. EVERYONE smokes and I mean EVERYONE! The grandma, the 10-year old kid on the corner, your baby-sitter, ALL the city's call center workers, most of the parents, the entire high school and every single old retiree over 65 seems to smoke (this is not counting the French poplulation which I dare say is approaching 95% in lighting up). You cannot go anywhere in this city with being a cloud of smoke. Folks here (unlike the USA where I was for 14 years) still actually smoke in their houses and cars (with windows up and their kids inside, I might add). AND they feel good about it, like its a God given right to blow smoke in your newborn babies face while you have your Tim Horton's coffee on your $500 a month crack apartment at 6AM.
3 - The H.O.G's and the Harley Davidson drivers. OK. There are no words to explain my level of hatred for these idios. First of all, nobody works. So what does that mean? Well, that means, you are free to just turn on and REV your loud ass bike any time of the day or night, just to see if it sounds right. Oh, and then just maybe you wanna take it around the block, around my house, just to test drive it for the 100th time, just in case it doesn't sound right. Maybe the Harley baby needs a tune up, maybe the fucking muffler isn't loud enough. No worries, we'll take it into the shop tomorrow after we drive up and down Main Street 500 effing times to see if it sounds right! The H.O.G convention took place in Moncton this year. My last summer AND my last year in Moncton, and they just HAD to hold the convention here! As luck would have it, I got stuck on the street between The Bay and my house, while 200 Harley owners weeved their way to the parking lot to station for the night. They all waved at me. Can you say IRONIC :)
4 - The dirty, super skinny, non-working, little dirt bag freaky guys in hoodys that skateboard up and down the city incessently. Like I said above, nobody works here. I don't know if there are just not enough jobs being the Maritimes, whether welfare is just too easy to get, or whether abortion should have caught on a bit more in the 1990's; but all these guys do is skateboard (and many times bike [on stolen bikes]) up and down Moncton's streets looking creepy and sketchy doing God knows what. Most likely they are small time drug peddlers and criminals, but they are annoying nonetheless. Like cockroaches, you don't see them until the last second when they almost cause you to almost trip over your own feet in surprise. You have to watch the cross walks, the parking lots, the street constantly, for if not, you could smash directly into one.
5 - The drivers. Wow. What can I say about this. I truly and honestly believe that if you held a world wide contest on the most retarded and dangerous drivers in the world, they would be Monctonians. Really. People often say "there are no words" to describe something. Well, what I am saying is that there literally are no words to describe the lunicy of the drivers here. Pretty much all you need to know is that almost every single night someone dies at an intersection (drunk or not). Need some visuals? Just watch this video below.
(Oh, and let me add, this is MY street. At 7AM. I woke up to what sounded like a car bomb going off in Afghanistan):
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